What's the difference between the Divine and an Archdemon? One's a hideous ancient beast that commands a horde of mindless followers, and the other's a dragon.

How many elves does it take to relight a lantern? Two: one to light the lantern and another to blame a shemlen for letting it go out.

What do you call a dwarf outside of a tavern? Lost.
Why don't Chantries have bathrooms? Because all the priests' shit comes out of their mouths.

What’s the difference between Ferelden and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for thirty years, it'll actually grow a culture.

I hear the Arishok was replaced by the Arishok. But he'd better watch out. In the shadows, the Arishok.

"You know, I thought the brothels in the City of Chains would be more exciting"

Why isn't magic allowed in the Chantry? Because the clerics don't want to compete with an invisible force that really does something.

Where did Elthina go when the Chantry exploded? Everywhere.

How can you tell if a guy's an elf? If his ears are bigger than his dick!

Q: How do you castrate a Tevine?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

A mabari goes into a bar and orders an ale. The bartender says, “You don’t see a dog in here drinking an ale often.”
The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised."

Two dwarves are out drinking when one of them falls off his barstool and lies motionless on the floor.
"One good thing about Herkel," his buddy says to the bartender. "He knows when to stop."

Knock knock.
Who's there?
solas slighty approves

Why are you unable to swim in Inquisition? Because you got an anchor on your hand.

(sorry)
What would you call Fenris if he was pregnant?
A broodmother!

В чем разница между Верховной Жрицей и Архидемоном? С одной стороны — ужасное древнее чудовище, командующее полчищами бездумных последователей, а с другой дракон.

Сколько эльфов нужно, чтобы снова зажечь фонарь? Два: один зажигает, другой винит шемленов в том, что позволили ему погаснуть.

Как назвать гнома за пределами таверны? Заблудившийся.

Почему в Церкви нет туалетов? Потому что всё дерьмо священнослужителей выходит у них через рот.

В чём разница между Ферелденом и йогуртом? Если вы оставите йогурт в покое на тридцать лет, в нем действительно может образоваться культура.

Я слышал, что Аришока заменил Аришок. Но ему надо внимательно смотреть по сторонам. Там, в тенях, Аришок.

"Знаешь, я думал, бордели в Городе Цепей будут несколько более... увлекательными."

Почему магия запрещена в Церкви? Потому что клерики не желают соревноваться с невидимой силой, которая действительно может что-то сделать.

Где оказалась Эльтина после взрыва в Церкви? Повсюду.

Как можно точно сказать, что этот парень — эльф? Его уши больше, чем его член.

— Как кастрировать тевинтерца?
— Пнуть в челюсть его сестру.

Мабари заходит в бар и заказывает эль. Бармен говорит: "Нечасто увидишь здесь собаку, пьющую эль."
Пес отвечает: "При таких ценах — я не удивлен."

Два гнома напились так, что один из них без чувств падает на пол.
"Есть в Херкеле одна хорошая черта," замечает его товарищ. "Он всегда знает, когда пора остановиться."

Тук-тук.
Кто там?
Солас отчасти одобряет

Почему Инквизитор не умеет плавать? Из-за Якоря у него в руке.

Amrita Vein: Da’man’an — Lit: “Little spring”

Arbor Blessing: Felan’enaste — Lit: “Grace weed”

Black Lotus: Galanorun’bana — Lit: “Black elegant”

Blood Lotus: Galanorun’theneras — Lit: “Elegant of waking dreams.”

Crystal Grace: Gail’lealis — Lit: “Glass bell”

Dawn Lotus: Galanorun — Lit: “Elegant.”

Deathroot: Felan’silras — Lit: “Dizzy weed.”

Deep Mushroom: Mesun’ur’vun’durgen — Lit: “Stone mushroom.”

Dragonthorn: Soun’gen’ur — Lit: “Strong root”

Elfroot: Feladara — Lit: “To calmly heal”

Embrium: Gaildahlas — Lit: “Bell grass”

Felandaris: Felandaris — Lit: “Demon weed”

Felicidus Aria: Siuodhe — Lit: “Sweet odor”

Ghoul’s Beard: Durgen’laveth — Lit: “Stone tail”

Prophet’s Laurel: Smerun’gesha — Lit: “Healthy berry”

Rashvine: Virhamelan’daur — Lit: “Poison ivy”

Rashvine Nettle: Felandaur — Lit: “Poison weed”

Spindleweed: Gen’ur’vana — Lit: “Bind root”

Vandal Aria: Gen’ur’haurasha — Lit: “Honey root”

Witherstalk: Felanise — Lit: “Fire weed”

Wolfsbane: Gail’bared — Lit: “Bell hat”

© http://fenxshiral.tumblr.com/post/13017 … ranslation

I wonder if Dalish have more tattoos? (which I guess they call vallas (writing) in general) Like they have the vallaslin as a symbol of adulthood, cultural pride and defiance to submission, but do they have other markings for other things?

Is all Dalish bodyart symbolic? Or do they also have purely aesthetic tats? Do they add a drop of blood to all of them, or just the vallaslin (I’d say just the vallaslin personally)

Some examples of what they might be like:

Vallasulevin — “Marks/Writings of Purpose” — Added when one takes on a certain role in their clan (Keeper, Hearthmaster, Craftsmaster etc), placed somewhere visible showing their accomplishment and place of honour among the clan hahrens and allowing outsiders from sister clans to identify them.

Vallasdin'vhen — “Marks/Writings of the Dead” — Mourning marks honouring the beloved dead. There are no uniform designs or ceremonies involved, it’s simply a tribute of love and grief — a promise to the soul of the departed that those who love them will remember them and honour them in life.

Vallashanin — “Marks/Writings of Glory” — Taken by elves who have performed some great, noteworthy feat (usually in service to their people). Examples would include recovering vital lore, saving their entire clan from some great threat or something like slaying a dragon. Much like the vallaslin, there is ceremony involved. The honoured one chooses their design and where it will go and undergoes a ritual cleansing before receiving their tattoo in front of the entire clan. It marks them as a hero to the people.

Vallaslath — “Marks/Writings of Love” — Tattoos taken to show ones love and dedication for living loved ones, while often taken for the sake of lovers the Dalish see nothing odd about markings for family and friends either. Often the tradition is for the loved ones to tattoo each other, often using a drop of the other’s blood in the ink (although I do wonder about the hygeine of that… eh. Magic.). For the less artistically-inclined they may design the markings and ask another to do the markings on their behalf. In some clans it is traditional for the applications of vallaslath to be a part of a bonding (wedding) ceremony. In the unfortunate case where love ceases to be between bearers of the vallaslath, the tattoos can be removed with healing magic.

Vallasirua — “Marks/Writings for seeing” — Aesthetic tattoos.

© http://theshadowdreams-blog.tumblr.com/ … os-which-i